No Escape?

I heard today that the grand-daughter is now confident enough on her feet to have made a serious attempt at escape from maternal control into the toy section at Mothercare this morning. The probable outcome will be, I assume, the purchase and use of reins; and an important lesson to learn.

After all, it won't be the last time in her life, I'm guessing, that an attempt at freedom is responded to by the use of restraint! And that raises some significant thoughts in my mind, about the nature of human society. There will always be those who insist on controlling others, and there will always be people in high places and with vested interests who are so afraid of the free spirit, positive outlook and new ideas of others that all they can think of doing is shutting them up and closing them down. So the sad truth is that every day in our world butterflies are stamped on: courageous ideals are belittled, and challenging and inventive suggestions dismissed.

But at the same time, I'm bound to admit that some degree of restraint is a necessary and good thing. My grand-daughter would come to harm if she were allowed to wander off unhindered and without regard. Totally unfettered freedom becomes licence, and is harmful and damaging to the rights of individuals and the structure of an ordered community - there have to be rules and laws and restrictions. We can't just do as we please.

The trick is to strike the right balance, between restraint and openness. How are we to do this? I think we need a style of education and nurture that encourages inventiveness and the development of a lively, questing and questioning personality, but that also teaches a proper regard and respect for - and ability to use - discipline (self-discipline included, of course). We also need, when in a position of comparative power, to check again and again and with painful honesty, what our true motives are when we say 'No' to the ideas, challenges or bid for freedom of someone else. In my perception, one common fault is that we make organisations - churches, political movements, social groupings - ends in themselves, self-serving things, to such a degree that we find it impossible and painful to hear someone tell us we are failing to be fruitful as a force in the world. The argument that "it has to be done this way because that's how it's always been done" generally has more to do with one's own personal security than real engagement with the world. It's inward looking and it dare not look out the other way.

My grand-daughter will be hearing the word 'No' quite often over the next few months, and she'll need to. At present, her main response is to scream; well, I can understand that, I've often been there too, but she'll need to learn to move on. 'No' is a very powerful world, and there's a lot it can kill within us - but those who'll be saying 'No' to her as she takes these early steps will be doing so with her own welfare very much in mind and heart. That shouldn't change; so this little bit of self-examination is of vital importance, I'm sure - the question to ask: when I find myself saying 'No', whose welfare and interests do I really have in mind?